During the past couple of years, I've been trying to live life more consciously. I thought a lot about the purpose of life. I became vegan so I'd remove the fog in my head and think more clearly. I studied people, their behavior. Minor stuff didn't matter anymore compared to the stuff I used to think of. I studied religions, believes, philosophies.. I visited new places. I saw how other people live. I felt like I finally understood life. I saw life from a third person view. From God's view. I saw life naked. And it wasn't beautiful.
I became too conscious.
Naked life was black and white. Dirty. Meaningless. Nothing we do mattered in the long scheme of things, so why bother? I got depressed. I thought more. I over-thought. I got more depressed.
I thought less. I numbed myself. I felt better. I removed the image of naked life from my head. I started putting some clothes on it. I started eating some not-100%-vegan food. I drank from time to time. I embraced the yolo life. Life was pretty.
Bottom line: too much zen could kill you.